I bet he comes in French.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
