i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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