just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
