Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
