i think my tv is drunk
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
