I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
