ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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