i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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