C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize