We're like a lot better than the average bears
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
