mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
