We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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