Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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