A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
