Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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