so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
