I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
