Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize