My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
