It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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