i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
