My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
