well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
