Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
