I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
