"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
