I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
