The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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