the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
People in love make me want to vomit
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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