So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
