Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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