mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
