I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
