you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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