I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's get the cat blown out
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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