I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
handjob tips. give me some.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
