Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
