Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!