my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
