She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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