My hand turned me down
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize