I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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