I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Girls should come with a carfax report
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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