He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am naked and annoyed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
