i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
