Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
