Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
