I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just cut my nipple shaving
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My dick has a subreddit
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
