There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
