im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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