If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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