last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
