I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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