I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize