Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
