Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
