Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize