I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
