I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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