3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
