all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
