So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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