I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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