I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
