if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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