If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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