bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
