A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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