im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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